Introspection and the Modern Writer (It’s Me, hi.)

Yesterday, I watched a video on YouTube that really made me think. It’s this one here, for anyone interested:

(YouTube: Books with Zara)

There is so much to unpack in the video, and the creator makes so many excellent points! One particular thing she said stuck out to me; around the 17 minute mark, she talks about authors having to write to trend at an exceedingly alarming rate these days, and its potential impact on originality of stories as well as the passion of the authors.

This really, really resonated with me, and I felt compelled to talk about why.

I have, one singular time in my twelve-year writing career, written to market, written to trend, put all the specific pizazz on everything that I was supposed to do for modern success, social media, et cetera. It was a genre I was happy with, and I did all the development, character, design, everything just like always; it was just a product with a target end-game.

Can I tell you that I hated it? Is that too strong?

I did not find that writing fulfilling at all. I put my all my forward motion into it. I made it my Top Priority Day Job (writing is anyway, but this was a specific project that needed more focus and attention, as it was outside my usual with a lot of boxes to check.) I made sure it was written well- after all, my name was being put on the end product, and I refuse to be anything but proud of what carries my name.

There are tons of authors who very happily write to market, and I’m ecstatic for them!

But the experience was a massive turn-off for me. And damn near put me off the whole writing/publishing sphere again.

Well… we’ll discuss that in a minute.

I found myself insisting/deflecting/defending that, “This isn’t my magnum opus, it’s just something fun.”

Bleeeeeccccccchhhh???

No author should feel like that. No artist should feel like that! No professional creative should feel like their art, as a social commodity, is anything less than. It was not worth it. Needless to say, it’s not an experience I’ll be repeating.

Like, ever.

That brings me to another point: repeating the experience. There is something that calls me, something about returning to the side of the reader, even if just for a little while. Oh, to simply be a reader again, falling fully back into the magic. I won’t leave some dramatic line here, but if I go quiet for a minute, just know that I’m frolicking in the fields of fresh flowers and books, letting myself feel whimsy.